Choosing Health Over Length — In Life and in Love
Prioritizing health over longevity in life and relationships means letting go of what no longer serves your well-being and embracing emotional, mental, and relational alignment. We discuss it here!
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By: Jamila Gomez
When we think about health, our minds often go straight to physical wellness—eating clean, getting in daily steps, scheduling regular checkups. But health isn’t just about the body; it’s about our emotional, mental, and relational wellbeing, too. And sometimes, the healthiest thing we can do—for ourselves and for those we care about—is to let go, even if it means something ends sooner than we hoped.
There’s a common trap we fall into: believing that the length of something is proof of its worth. We celebrate long relationships, long careers, long lives. But what if the real measure of value isn’t length, but quality?
This idea especially hits home in relationships. We’re often taught to fight for love, to stick things out no matter what, to believe that longevity equals success. But staying in something that drains us, damages us, or slowly erodes our sense of self isn’t romantic—it’s exhausting. Choosing to prioritize the health of a relationship over the length of it can be one of the most powerful, loving choices we make.
Sometimes that means having the hard conversation. Sometimes it means walking away—not because you gave up, but because you chose peace. Because you finally understood that real love shouldn’t cost your wellbeing.
Healthy relationships are marked by mutual respect, communication, trust, and growth. They’re not perfect, but they’re safe. They nurture you. When those foundations crumble and can’t be rebuilt, clinging to the shell of something “for the sake of time” only leads to more hurt.
The same principle applies to life itself. We’re constantly bombarded with ways to extend our years—diets, supplements, hacks—but what’s the point of a long life if it’s filled with stress, disconnection, or suffering? A shorter life full of meaning, love, laughter, and alignment with your values can be far richer than one stretched out in survival mode.
Choosing health over length is about intentional living. It’s about asking: Does this nourish me? Am I growing here? Is this kind to my soul? If the answer is no, then you owe it to yourself to realign—even if it means letting go of what’s familiar.
In the end, we remember the moments we felt most alive, not just the number of years we lived. The same is true in love. A short, healthy relationship that helped you grow is far more meaningful than a long one that left you smaller.
So whether it’s life or love—choose health. Always.
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How to Love Someone Who Suffers from Anxiety or Depression
Supporting a loved one with anxiety or depression means listening without judgment, offering consistent care, encouraging professional help, and educating yourself about mental health—especially within the Black community. We discuss it here!
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By: Jamila Gomez
In our community, we often hear phrases like “pray about it,” “be strong,” or “you’ll be fine” when it comes to mental health. But the truth is, anxiety and depression are real, heavy burdens that don’t disappear overnight — and sometimes, our loved ones are fighting silent battles we can’t see. If someone you care about is struggling, knowing how to show up for them with love, patience, and understanding can make all the difference.
1. Listen Without Judgment
One of the most powerful things you can do is simply listen. A lot of us grew up in households where feelings weren’t always talked about, so when someone opens up about their mental health, it’s not easy. Let them speak their truth without jumping to fix, lecture, or minimize their experience. Sometimes, they don’t need answers — they need to feel heard and seen.
2. Educate Yourself About Mental Health
Anxiety and depression don’t always look like sadness or panic attacks. Sometimes, it looks like isolation, irritability, fatigue, or even overworking to avoid feelings. Take time to learn about how these conditions show up, especially in Black folks who often carry the extra weight of systemic stress and cultural expectations to “keep it together.”
3. Offer Real Support — Not Just Words
Saying “I’m here if you need me” is a beautiful sentiment, but actions speak louder. Offer to sit with them, check in regularly, or help with small tasks like errands or cooking. Depression and anxiety can make even basic things feel overwhelming. Your presence and consistency remind them they’re not alone.
4. Be Patient With Their Healing
Mental health struggles don’t have a timeline. There will be good days and bad days. Your loved one may cancel plans, withdraw, or seem distant — try not to take it personally. Healing isn’t linear, and your understanding gives them the space to breathe without added pressure.
5. Encourage Professional Help — Without Shame
In the Black community, therapy has sometimes carried stigma, but it’s crucial to remind your loved one that getting help is a form of strength, not weakness. Encourage them to talk to a professional when they’re ready, and if they’re open to it, help them find a culturally competent therapist who understands the nuances of Black mental health.
6. Protect Your Own Energy, Too
Loving someone with anxiety or depression requires empathy, but it’s also important to care for yourself. Set boundaries when you need to, and don’t be afraid to seek your own support as you walk alongside them.
At the end of the day, love is about showing up, even when the road is hard. Your presence, patience, and compassion could be the light that helps your loved one find their way back to themselves.
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Is Marriage Still the Goal? A Look at Modern Black Relationships
As modern Black love continues to evolve beyond traditional expectations, many are redefining relationship success by prioritizing authenticity, emotional well-being, and personal fulfillment over marriage as a required milestone. We discuss it here!
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By: Jamila Gomez
Throughout generations, people have viewed marriage as the ultimate indicator of relationship success which serves as a symbol of stability alongside love and legacy. Marriage was viewed as a way to establish solid families that in turn would create better communities among Black people. The modern world presents different priorities and expectations along with altered realities which cause people to wonder about marriage goals.
Research shows that Black marriage statistics show a decreasing trend during the past several decades. Many African Americans currently delay marriage or choose not to marry at all. The reasons behind this trend exist as complex factors which include economic differences alongside changes in gender roles and free will decisions.
The question “When are you going to settle down and get married?” was commonly heard during our childhood as if marriage served as the ultimate life milestone. Many modern Black singles across millennial and Gen Z generations view marriage as an available choice instead of a requirement to achieve happiness and fulfillment in partnership.
People have started this change by observing past generations. Many people observed marriages which seemed perfect in public records but lacked genuine happiness in private spaces. We watched as people stayed trapped in toxic relationships because traditional views of Black love demanded marriage no matter the cost to individual well-being.
The modern Black community now embraces love without requiring marriage to validate its worth. The number of couples who select long-term relationships without marriage commitments keeps growing. Many couples decide to establish financial security and achieve their professional targets as well as care for their mental health and raise children before getting married or choose alternative paths.
The discussion must include the obstacles that stand in the way. Economic inequality directly affects the development of Black relationships. Systemic racism combined with mass incarceration along with the wealth gap have influenced how people marry and when they choose to do so.
Even though marriage still exists it is not necessary for everyone. Black couples continue to exchange vows and establish strong relationships which combine their love with faith and their connection to the community. Modern society has introduced a new perspective because people now recognize various methods to measure love success beyond marriage.
The decision to make marriage a life goal depends entirely on the individual person. Some couples dedicate themselves to creating business empires together. Some people desire freedom and peaceful companionship alongside the absence of legal documentation. The life choices people make are equally valid.
The Black love experience continues to transform as it manifests through various forms of partnership including marriage as well as singleness and committed relationships and situationships and self-love. Maybe the new objective should be discovering what truly brings you satisfaction and authenticity and sustainability.
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Practicing Gratitude: A Radical Act of Joy
Practicing gratitude as a Black person is a revolutionary act of joy, resilience, and healing that honors our ancestors, celebrates our culture, and empowers us to thrive despite systemic challenges. We discuss it here!
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By: Jamila Gomez
Being Black in this world is a unique experience—one filled with beauty, resilience, and deep cultural richness, but also with challenges that can be exhausting. Every day, we navigate spaces that weren’t always designed for us, carry generational struggles, and face both overt and subtle forms of discrimination. Yet, despite all of that, we continue to create, thrive, and love. And one of the most powerful ways we can protect our joy is through the practice of gratitude.
Gratitude isn’t about ignoring struggles or pretending oppression doesn’t exist. It’s about recognizing our power, our community, and the blessings that sustain us. It’s about reclaiming our joy in a world that often tries to dim our light.
Gratitude as Resistance
There’s something revolutionary about choosing to see the good in your life when society constantly reminds you of its hardships. When we take time to acknowledge what we’re grateful for—our ancestors’ sacrifices, our culture’s resilience, the love we share with our people—we are resisting narratives that tell us we should always be struggling.
Black joy is an act of defiance. Gratitude strengthens that joy by reminding us that, despite what history and systems have tried to do, we are still here. We are still creating, still innovating, still loving, still pushing forward.
Finding Gratitude in the Everyday
Practicing gratitude doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be as simple as taking a few minutes in the morning to reflect on what you appreciate, journaling about small wins, or even telling your people how much they mean to you. Here are some ways to integrate gratitude into your daily life:
1. Honor Your Ancestors – Take a moment to reflect on those who came before you. Whether through prayer, storytelling, or simply acknowledging their sacrifices, expressing gratitude for their resilience is a powerful way to stay grounded.
2. Celebrate Black Creativity – Be grateful for the music, art, literature, and innovation that Black people have contributed to the world. Whether it’s a song that lifts your spirit or a book that inspires you, take time to appreciate our cultural genius.
3. Thank Your Community – From family and friends to mentors and strangers who support you, recognize the people who show up for you. Gratitude strengthens our bonds and reminds us that we’re not alone.
4. Appreciate Your Own Growth – You’ve survived things that were meant to break you. Give yourself credit. Express gratitude for your strength, your growth, and the lessons you’ve learned.
Gratitude Keeps Us Whole
Practicing gratitude doesn’t mean ignoring reality. It means choosing to see the beauty in the midst of struggle, to uplift ourselves, and to keep our spirits intact. In a world that often tries to wear us down, gratitude is a tool for survival, healing, and joy. And that, in itself, is revolutionary.
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Navigating Wellness in a Hyper-Productive Society
In a world driven by hustle culture, finding wellness means redefining success, setting boundaries, and prioritizing balance over burnout for a more fulfilling and sustainable life. We discuss it here!
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By: Jamila Gomez
In a world that glorifies hustle culture, self-worth is often measured by output. From the moment we wake up, we’re bombarded with productivity hacks, morning routines optimized for efficiency, and the pressure to squeeze the most out of every minute. While ambition isn’t inherently bad, an obsession with doing more can take a serious toll on mental and physical health. The challenge, then, is finding balance—navigating wellness without feeling like we’re falling behind.
The Productivity Trap
Modern society rewards busyness. Whether it’s climbing the corporate ladder, monetizing hobbies, or optimizing daily routines, we’re conditioned to believe that slowing down is synonymous with laziness. This mindset leads to burnout, anxiety, and a constant feeling of inadequacy. Even rest becomes another productivity tool—something we “schedule” so we can get back to work with renewed energy.
But wellness isn’t just about recovering from overwork; it’s about creating a sustainable lifestyle that prioritizes health, joy, and fulfillment beyond professional success.
Redefining Success
The first step in navigating wellness is shifting our definition of success. Instead of equating it with output, we should consider a more holistic view—one that includes mental health, relationships, personal growth, and overall happiness. True success isn’t just about how much we accomplish but how we feel while doing it.
This shift requires unlearning societal expectations and tuning into what actually makes us feel fulfilled. Are we working long hours because we genuinely enjoy our careers, or because we fear falling behind? Are we saying yes to every opportunity because we want to, or because we feel guilty for saying no?
Practical Strategies for Wellness
While mindset shifts are crucial, practical strategies can help reinforce a healthier approach to wellness:
1. Prioritize Rest Without Guilt – Rest is not a reward for hard work; it’s a necessity. Quality sleep, relaxation, and leisure should be non-negotiable, not just tools to boost productivity.
2. Set Boundaries – Overworking isn’t a badge of honor. Define clear work-life boundaries, whether that means logging off at a certain time, limiting weekend work, or saying no to additional responsibilities.
3. Engage in Activities Without an End Goal – Not everything needs to be monetized or optimized. Read a book for enjoyment, take a walk without tracking steps, or engage in hobbies just because they make you happy.
4. Practice Mindfulness – Being present in the moment can reduce stress and help break the cycle of constant busyness. Simple practices like deep breathing, journaling, or unplugging from technology can make a difference.
5. Reevaluate Your Goals – Regularly check in with yourself. Are your goals aligned with your well-being? If not, adjust them. Productivity should serve your life, not consume it.
Wellness in a hyper-productive society isn’t about abandoning ambition—it’s about integrating balance. We don’t have to choose between success and well-being; we just need to redefine what success means. By prioritizing health, joy, and sustainability over endless hustle, we create a life that’s not just productive but genuinely fulfilling.
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Why It's Crucial to Check on Your Strong Friends: Understanding Their Silent Struggles
Learn why checking in on your strong friends is vital, as they often silently struggle with emotional burdens and mental health issues despite their outward strength. We discuss it here!
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By: Jamila Gomez
We all have that friend. The one who seems to have it all together. The one who’s always there with a comforting word, a ready solution, and an unwavering smile. These are our "strong friends" – the pillars of support who we often assume don’t need anything in return. But this assumption can be dangerously misguided. Just because someone appears strong doesn’t mean they are invulnerable. Checking on your strong friends is not just a kind gesture; it is a necessary act of care and humanity.
The Burden of Being Strong
Strong friends often carry a significant emotional burden. They are the ones others turn to in times of need, which can lead to an accumulation of stress and emotional fatigue. Over time, the weight of constantly being the supporter can become overwhelming. In many cases, strong friends may not express their struggles openly, fearing they’ll disappoint those who depend on them or believing that asking for help is a sign of weakness.
The Silent Struggles
Mental health issues don’t discriminate based on outward appearances. Strong friends can suffer from anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges just like anyone else. Their ability to mask these struggles makes it even more crucial to check in on them regularly. They may feel isolated in their strength, unable to voice their own needs because they are so used to focusing on others.
How to Check In
1. Reach Out Regularly: Make it a habit to check in with your strong friends, not just during obvious times of crisis. A simple message or call can mean the world to someone who feels like they have to keep it all together.
2. Ask Specific Questions: Instead of generic queries like “How are you?”, try asking more specific questions. “How have you been feeling lately?” or “Is there anything you’ve been struggling with?” can open up more meaningful conversations.
3. Offer Your Support: Sometimes, just knowing that someone is there for them can be incredibly comforting. Let them know that you are available to listen, to help, or simply to spend time together.
4. Listen Actively: If they do open up, listen without judgment or interruption. Validate their feelings and avoid trying to immediately solve their problems. Sometimes, they just need to be heard.
5. Encourage Self-Care: Encourage your strong friends to take time for themselves and engage in activities that help them relax and recharge. Remind them that self-care is not selfish but necessary for their well-being.
6. Be Patient: Strong friends might not immediately share their struggles. It can take time for them to feel comfortable opening up. Be patient and consistent in your support.
Why It Matters
Checking on your strong friends helps create a culture of mutual support and care. It reinforces the idea that everyone, regardless of how strong they appear, needs help sometimes. By being proactive in reaching out, you can help prevent burnout and emotional distress. Moreover, it fosters deeper and more authentic relationships, where both parties feel valued and supported.
In today’s fast-paced world, where mental health issues are increasingly prevalent, it is more important than ever to look out for one another. Our strong friends give so much of themselves to others, often without asking for anything in return. By taking the time to check on them, we acknowledge their humanity and offer them the same compassion they so readily extend to others.
So, the next time you think about your friend who always seems to have it all together, take a moment to reach out. A small gesture of care can make a big difference. After all, even the strongest pillars need support.
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Tia Mowry Embraces Body Positivity and Family Joy on Unforgettable Trip
Tia Mowry has taken a self-discovery trip across the world to Thailand in hopes of healing and emphasizing family closeness. We discuss it here!
By: Jayla Smith
Tia Mowry, the queen of influencer videos, a limitless actress, and mother of her two kids, Cree and Cairo, has taken a self-discovery trip across the world in hopes of healing and emphasizing family closeness, to Thailand. “I immersed myself in self-reflection, connected with nature, embraced a new culture, and cherished moments with my family.” Tia has been through tough times publicly but has privately been bettering herself. She thanked her family and friends for being with her through hard times. Tia has been a great light to many mothers with kids who may be going through the same self-discovery journey.
“A major revelation for me was the recognition that I am in a perpetual state of evolution, and not only is this acceptable, but it’s actually wonderful,” she wrote. “It signifies personal growth and the capacity to acquire knowledge and self-improvement.”
While facing public challenges, Tia quietly focused on personal growth, expressing gratitude to her support system. She thanked family and friends for standing by her during tough times. A beacon of strength, Tia's journey resonates with mothers on a similar path, offering inspiration and light. Reflecting on her experience, Tia eloquently stated, “A major revelation for me was the recognition that I am in a perpetual state of evolution. Not only is this acceptable, but it's actually wonderful.” This acknowledgment, she believes, signifies personal growth and the limitless capacity for knowledge and self-improvement."
Thailand, in Southeast Asia, is famous for its vibrant culture and beautiful beaches, making it a top choice for travelers. Before ending her video, Tia Mowry explained why she picked Thailand for her personal retreat and family vacation, bringing a nice conclusion to her journey.
